This is one of those smack your head, hand in ‘L formation’ placed squarely on the forehead, ‘John, why didn’t you do/say THIS when you had the chance’ moments in life.
Yes, I could have handled myself a little more strategically.
But, alas, I didn’t. Sigh.
Here’s what happened:
A female colleague from another office steps off a curve a little too quickly and ends up scraping her big toe and second toe just slightly.
There’s no blood. Just a little white chalkmark-like scrape I can see across the tops of her big toe and second toe.
My workmates and I are all in the process of piling into a car to go to a restaurant after being in a training all day.
I’m all the way in the back of the vehicle, and she’s more to the front.
There’s really no way I can see her feet from where I sit.
We get to the restaurant, and she and I end up ordering our beers at the bar at about the same time.
She gets hers first, then I get mine.
We do a cheers, and I ask her how her foot is doing.
Without missing a beat, this female colleague of mine steps back a few feet, and in a split second just kind of lifts her hurt foot up in the air, the foot is still in the flip flop mind you, and she is talking to me about her injury and wiggling her gorgeous toes while she is showing me her injuries.
Again, nothing much to write home about in terms of an actual injury.
She’s fine.
The picture above that I found on the website, donteatthatcandy.wordpress.com (thank you, Eric, by the way for posting this beautiful photo!) is the closest I could find to capturing the position and look of this woman’s toes wiggling in my direction.
I have no idea what my female colleague is saying at this point as her ‘krypTOEnite’, har har, is working so quickly and so efficiently to render me utterly speechless and motionless.
I just fixate on her red toe nail polish, and the beautiful shape of her toes as they wiggle ever so close to me.
I think I just said something to her like, ‘I’m so glad you’re Ok. Wow, that must have hurt.’
Something to that ‘vanilla’ effect.
Now, in hindsight, Monday morning QB’ing the situation, here are a few spicier quips I wish I had been quick witted enough to say in the moment:
1. ‘Oh, I’m so glad you are OK. Thank goodness it wasn’t a really bad scrape. That could have ended your foot modeling career!’ She then responds back, ‘Oh, are you making fun of my feet?’ to which I would respond, ‘No way, I’m serious. I would think someone with feet that look like yours would actually be a real life foot model. They do exist. I just assumed you were one of them.’
Right?!
And then of course I would try and sneak in some foot tickling when the time was right.
Or, how about this one; slightly more daring:
2. ‘Oh, good, so glad your toes are OK. You know, there’s a procedure you can do after you hurt any part of your body, especially your feet that can help you heal faster. Have you heard about reflexology? It’s really interesting. I’ve actually been studying how to do it. If you’re interested, later, I can show you a few techniques that might help your foot heal faster.’
This last one I’m SUPER temped to try next time I see one of my female friends or colleagues hurt their feet, or any part of their body for that matter.
Again, with the end goal to not only get to indulge my foot fetish, but also to do a little foot tickling when the moment was right and the woman was receptive.
What do you think?
Would it work?
Has it worked for you?
Please do share in the comments below, or feel free to shoot me an email to:
thelaughtermechanic@gmail.com.
As always, thanks for stopping by,
John
The Laughter Mechanic 