I just finished watching the 1st season of Suits on Netflix (12 very entertaining legal drama episodes).
I know…a bit behind in my binging as this television show first aired on the USA Network 13 years ago in 2011 😉
The show featured the drop dead gorgeous, Sarah Rafferty (above), who played Donna Paulsen in the series.
She’s seen above (and below with her equally drop dead gorgeous co-star, Meghan Markle…yes, THAT Meghan of the Prince Harry Fan Club) having a little ladies night out/heart to heart talk with her coworker, Rachel Zane, played by Markle. They’re both in Donna’s boss’s office, the enigmatic, arrogant, incredibly handsome, incredibly sexy, Harvey Specter, played by the fantastic actor, Gabriel Macht.
As you can see from the screenshots, Donna has no qualms putting her drop dead gorgeous feet in nylons up on Harvey’s desk and waxing poetic about his balls (basketballs, get your mind out of the gutter 😅) with Rachel.
Here’s the scene (fast forward to 3:14 for one of THE best #feetupfriday moments you’ll ever see! Oh my! SO 🔥!!!)
You’re welcome!
Now…what tends to happen to me when I see beautiful women with their heels kicked off and relaxing like this on my television screen, and their conversation turns to sex (which it inevitably did in this 🔥AF moment) …again…3 min 14 seconds into the embedded link) I enter into a VERY wandering brain VERY what if moment…
Here’s my little Wandering Brain/What If rewrite of the above scene between Donna and Rachel had I been “in the room where it happened” writing this iconic female bonding scene for USA Network back in the day.
USA Network, Netflix, Hulu, Amazon, if you’re reading…I’m available if you need me! 🙂
And now…the fantasy rewrite…
Donna and Rachel – a Toe To Ticklish Toe conversation
“Ever?” Rachel asked incredulously of her girlfriend and coworker in crime, Donna, about whether Donna had ever done it with her incredibly handsome, incredibly sexy boss, Harvey Specter.
“Well, there was this ONE time. But I’m not sure it counts. It involved…this is going to sound kinda weird…my FEET of all things.” Donna wiggled her toes underneath her tight nylons propped up prominently on Harvey’s desk.
Rachel was intrigued. She kicked off her own heels, took a sip of her gin and tonic, and sat down and put her own nyloned feet up on Harvey’s desk very close to Donna’s.
Donna smiled.
“Ever date a foot fetishist?” Donna asked.
“No, but I hear the foot massages are… TO DIE FOR!” Rachel gushed.
“Yep. They are. Especially when they’re from Harvey F’ing Specter!”
“NO!” Rachel laughingly and excitedly remarked at Donna’s outing her boss as a foot fetishist.
“Yep. Big time!” Donna said.
“Go on!” Rachel smiled even wider, all the while scooting her toes ever so close to Donna’s nyloned soles, nearly touching them. Donna noticed, but didn’t move back or closer to Rachel’s feet.
“It was late. Just like it is now. I was helping Harvey prep for a trial the next day. We were both exhausted, and sipping on the single malt scotch he’d poured for us both to relax and calm nerves. It was working. I was on his couch, my heels were kicked off and my feet propped up on his coffee table, like they are now on his desk. I was reading aloud some brief to him that had come from opposing counsel, and I caught him.”
“Caught him doing what?!”
“Staring.”
“Staring at what?!”
“My feet! Rachel he couldn’t take his eyes off my FEET!”
“Seriously?!”
“Seriously! I was in nylons like I am now. I mean, my feet are nice, but they’re not Rachel Zane nice!”
“C’mon! You have REALLY nice feet! Girl, I know you get pedicures!”
“I do. And thanks! Still…to have gorgeous long toes and silky arches like what you have, Girl, is a dream!”
“You are too sweet! Thank you! I get pedicures too. Guys do pay attention to our feet, don’t they?!”
“Oh, my God, do they EVER! So get this…I catch him staring at them and I just say to myself, ‘Donna, let’s play with this handsome hunk of a man and see how much power my little toesie woesies actually have over one of the most powerful men in New York City!’ I must have played him for a full five minutes just wiggling my toes, moving my feet around, and doing that self foot massage thing where you rub one of your soles with the other foot. You know that one?!”
“Oh yeah, I do. I do that one alot when I come home at night. No boyfriend. Girl’s gotta take care of herself and her feet, right?!” Rachel smiled at Donna.
“Exactly! So he was LOCKED. IN! He had this crazy, lustful stare in his eyes…and Rachel… I COULD NOT get enough of it! I teased and tortured him for another five minutes!”
“We women are so cruel sometimes, aren’t we?!”
“I KNOW, right?!” Donna smiled flirting-ly and knowingly back at Rachel.
Donna continued, “Rachel, surely you’ve felt that kind of power over a man, right?!”
“Uhh, I guess.” Rachel went away for a moment, her mind wandering to Mike and how she knew his gaze upon her since the moment they’d met months back was as hot as any guy’s she’d ever dated. And she liked it and she liked him. The thought of him rubbing her feet on that couch got her instantly hotter in those lovely places between her thighs in that moment.
Rachel continued…”Yes, I’ve felt it!”
“It’s absolutely, mind-blowing-ly intoxicating, right?! Like you literally cannot get enough of that man drug, right?!”
Rachel smiled back, knowingly now, and just uttered a simple, sultry, breathy, “Yes!”
“So he comes over to the couch, sits on the opposite end of where I’m sitting and does that thing where you take your two hands and gesture for someone to put their feet in your lap. You know, the little thing?” Donna asked.
“Oh, I know! I know, girlfriend! So what did you do?! Did you take him up on his offer?!”
“Oh, HELL yeah! My feet were SO tired from being in those heels all day! Actually…same ones you see discarded down there.” Donna pointed to the beige ones cast off below Harvey’s desk.
“SO! What happened next?!” Rachel continued smiling from ear to ear in eager anticipation of what Harvey and her did on his office couch.
“I’ve never, and I mean NEV-er, EV-er orgasmed from a man touching my feet…but Rachel, I kid you NOT…this man gave me nearly TWENTY orgasms that night, one right after the other, just rubbing my feet with those soft, strong as you know what, hands of his! Jesus Christ! If you EVER tell anyone about this, I swear to God…!” Donna smiled hugely at Rachel as she weakly and laughingly threatened her.
“Oh, Donna! I’m not going to say anything! Your little foot-gasm secret’s safe with me!” Rachel smiled back, acknowledging the threat, and eagerly wanting more details.
“Now this is where it gets a little kinky…” Donna leaned in.
“Oh, so the foot-gasm thing ISN’T kinky?!” Rachel laughed.
“Oh, it’s kinky. But get THIS! Not only was he rubbing my feet, but he started doing this gentle stroking thing with his fingertips on the tops of my feet as he massaged them. Has a guy ever done that to you? Stroked the tops of your feet ever so gently?!”
“No! But I SO want the next guy I go out with TO do it to me! Jesus, Donna, you’re getting me all hot and bothered with all this foot stuff!”
“YOU’RE getting all hot and bothered?! Just wait! It gets better!”
Donna continued…”So, he’s stroking the tops of my feet ever so gently, but I can tell with every passing minute he’s slowly applying stronger and stronger strokes with his fingertips across my nylons. It starts tickling me, but just EVER so gently, and EVER so pleasurable! God, it was like the NICEST, most EROTIC tickling I’d EVER experienced!”
“Ok, I may need a vibrator and a private bathroom before you finish this story, Donna! Go on!” Rachel laughed, half joking/half serious, showing a little of her face flushing from all the blood flow occurring down into her womanhood at the moment.
Donna smiled, continuing…
“I was SO f’ing wet by this point having my feet rubbed and my feet gently tickled like this by this uber sexy man that I SO admire, and that I would literally die for! I know it was the laughter from all the tickling that was starting to put me over the edge! Just thinking about it right now, has me all wet as you know what!”
“Oh, I know! I’m wet just listening to you recount it! Jesus! Ok, so…what next?!”
“He keeps gently tickling the tops of my feet with one hand, while rubbing my soles with his other hand. I’m outwardly laughing, but inwardly coming like a freight train every few minutes, and then all of a sudden he just stops!”
“No!”
“Yes! He comes to a dead stop. He looks at me…gives me that inquisitive quintessential Harvey look as if to imply that I’m liking this a bit too much. I look back at him hoping to GOD he can’t tell how aroused I am with him tickling my feet like that and rubbing them intermittently. He leans in and just says, ‘Next time…keep your shoes on Donna! Your feet are a huge distraction to me pre-trial!’ I pull my feet out of his lap, he leaves his office for a few minutes, I pack up all my stuff, and we never speak of that night ever again.”
“Whoa! Holy Shit! That’s a harsh ending, Sister! Were you ok?!”
“Hell yeah, I was OK! I had TWENTY f’ing orgasms that night! How can you NOT be OK after twenty orgasms?!” Donna laughed to break the tension.
Rachel laughed back, appreciating the lightness of the moment and the easing of all the sexual tension that had built with such a retelling of that infamous night.
“Do you think he knew that you orgasmed that many times?” Rachel pushed her inquisition.
“He never knew. I know it’s crazy. A man gives you TWENTY orgasms just by rubbing and tickling your feet, and I’m saying he never knew, but…he never knew.” Donna coldly stated the facts.
“Oh, girl! Harvey HAS to know, right?! That man…he KNOWS women! He totally knows!” Rachel challenged Donna’s acting abilities in the moment.
“Well, for starters…I knew that if he knew, we’d never be able to work together again. I just did my best nonchalant Donna’s just getting a nice foot rub / playful foot tickling session from her boss face, all the while my vulva was pulsing like a stellar red giant ready to turn into a Supernova! Oh, Rachel, it felt SO, SO good! I have NO idea how my body was able to absorb all of those ridiculously sexy sensations without Harvey knowing!”
“He HAS to know! Rachel challenged again.
“He doesn’t.”
“How do you know?!”
“This all happened about 6 months ago and I’m still working for him.
“That you do.” Rachel thought and capitulated.
“I do. We have an AMAZING working relationship. It’s the only time in all the years I’ve been with him that I came THIS close to screwing it all up!” Donna made a gesture with her thumb and forefinger signifying how close it was.
“Wow! Twenty clandestine foot and ticklegasms from your BOSS! Jesus, Donna, how about you invite me over next time Harvey goes to trial?!” Rachel laughed jealously.
“It’s a date! Next time, you get to foot tease my boss with those gorgeous long toes of yours, and I’ll watch you try to hold down the burning fort, so to speak!” Donna smiled seductively at Rachel.
“Oh, my! I’m getting all tingly just thinking about it!” Rachel admitted.
“Me too! Me! Too!” Donna admitted back.
The End.
The masseuse/masseur would remain at the end of the tube with the woman’s barefeet sticking out, and rather than just putting socks on the subjects’ bare feet to keep the woman’s feet warm, the masseuse/masseur would rub and massage the woman’s barefeet, and, if the woman was amenable, she’d allow their masseuse/masseur to suck their toes and provide that additional warmth with their mouths and tongues, all the while providing the added benefit of stimulating the woman’s sexual response by having her toes sucked! 
The Laughter Mechanic 